I would still choose to be a lesbian, but also I’d choose to be rich and not disabled.
1. I went to elementary school with her, and I thought she was going to lay low and teach yoga for a while, but she just got some big parts in some big projects. She will be famous because she is non-threatening and very thin. I used to think the thinness was natural, but a few years ago I saw her and she pulled the car over and confessed that she only eats 600 calories a day because her ex bf told her she was fat when she got back from Europe, and because her mother is verbally abusive. I believe all of this because when I used to come to her house in Brentwood in third grade her mother shamed me for being lower middle class, and I sometimes still have nightmares about it. I think about what it would be like to have a mother like that when I start feeling jealous about the thinness and the upcoming fame.
2. My ex-girlfriend, the other one, who left her Manhattan apartment unlocked because she could always afford to replace her macbook after it was stolen 3 times, who purchased every grad school paper she ever turned in, and who just got 3 TV roles. She will be famous because she’s butch but not too butch, which is hot right now, and because she has the capitol to network and go on auditions full time without worrying about how to feed herself in New York City. I never have nightmares about her because my brain thankfully protects me by erasing trauma that is too much to process. I actually struggle to remember almost any of that 12 month relationship. On one of her upcoming shows she plays an alcoholic lesbian who murders her lover.
Favorite BLT character, besides Blanket.
"Would you ever want to talk?"
"Are you still an emotionally abusive sociopath whose rich parents don’t love her?"
"No, I actually want you to be human centiped-ed, as the middle segment."
I consume mental health services and pyscho-pharmaceuticals like any American, but I still believe we’re currently the Dark Ages of understanding and treating mental illness, particularly the “Not Otherwise Specified” conditions that don’t fit neatly into DSM categories.
The more experience I have as a patient, the less I believe this is an actual science. I won’t ever give up on the products that psychiatry offers, since I basically need them to function, but I think as a field it is greatly limited.
How can you even define depression? Depression is a medical problem with symptoms, yes, but it is also an existential problem.