February 2012
16 posts
why I won't be responding to your online personal...
You include a picture of yourself wearing a shirt that says “I’m not a gynecologist, but I’ll take a look.”
Either you don’t know what it is that a gynecologist does, or you have the desire to examine my cervical walls for cell abnormalities. Like, you want a close-up shot of my vaginal canal and the cultures which adhere to it. That means the inside part.
Not only...
chelseaaveee asked: your blog is so refreshing to read. thank you.
tthejunket asked: You are so funny! I love that you actually write in your blog. It's refreshing as hell. Thank god. You from Boston?
This therapist is onto me
“This is going to sound Freudian, but can I ask how long you were breastfed?”
“How did you know I was breastfed?”
”I mean…”
“Until I was four.”
Sing out, Louise
tthejunket:
Why can’t I message you?
Because I’m technologically inept…but I think I fixed it!
"Easy, Sweetheart"
Today as I was exiting the subway platform, a grizzled specimen of human garbage felt compelled to grope me over my 87 layers of winter clothing.
As I pushed and pried him off of me, which took the strength of a cornered animal instinctively entering “fight” mode, he said, “Easy, Sweetheart!” as though I was the one who had grossly violated the standards of civilized...
Did Eminem ever figure out which Spice Girl he wanted to impregnate?
My idea of a coping mechanism
is to let The North’s answer to Stanley Kowalski take me out to dinner in Little Italy and then bring me back to Dorchester and manhandle me.
Impediments to moving on
When the person who used to love you (and no longer does) gets cast as the “eccentric neighbor” on an upcoming network comedy.
“You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.”
– Tina Fey (via droopylobes)
Yep, and if they laugh at Tina Fey, I’ll pass.
